Blog

This blog has no particular topic or style. I wirte here following my inspiration.

Latest posts

~2017-01-09--23-57-19--(+0300) — Letters

I do love e-mails so much! Especially the way you are not awaiting for a soon answer to a regular letter. That great feeling that your close friend is not answering your for a couple of months, and you are not answering him, but you both are not really ignoring each other (though it is not an excuse in case of laziness). In general, that way of looking at things in a long term perspective, it gives me more appeacement and gladness. Sometimes I have no force and I need to stop and have a break. And when I'm looking at things in a perspective of several years or tens of years, a break that lasts several days or months doesn't look like a problem.

~2017-01-09--19-17-00--(+0300) — The site news

I had some time to work on my website (Russian language version) and improved one of the most important parts of the website — the part about my art creations. I think it is quite good already for publishing its link. After all, I will never be satisfied with it, and some writings may become deprecated over time, even being close to ideal at the moment of writing. At least the Russian language version is almoste ready now, while the English language version is still very much behind. Nevertheless, the English version has Blog and Status pages which are always up-to-date, which are good enough for being a starter too.

~2017-01-04--20-55-59--(+0300) — After the illness

After being in the bed for so long I'm getting up and soon will recover completely from the illness. This time I suffered a lot, but learned a lot as well. Firstly, now I always have at home and with me antipyretics. I got so used over last the 10 years to the lack of fever that I didn't think about keeping them available. Though they are the only thing that may be useful during a viral infection. Even though no pharmaceutical drugs are needed to recover from such infection, it is not an easy task to cope with 40 degrees for several days, so it's a great thing to have ability to decrease such temperature. Secondly, now I actually know what is to have fever and recognize it and I've finally learned how to use electronical thermometer correctly; I also know when paracetamol and ibuprofen starts working and how much each could help me. Thirdly, this illness motivated me once again to update my knowledge of ilnesses, biology and medicine, and this time once again I was convinced that one may and should have some level of medical knowledge. I will surely write a post or an essay about this. Fourthly, for the first time I was put on a drip — felt nothing special.

~2016-12-29--13-26-48--(+0300) — A hard common cold

Wow, I've got a common cold, but this time it hit me really hard. All day yesterday I had 39 degrees of temperature. I cannot remember of such thing since early childhood. Today in the morning it was also pretty bad, but now I'm a bit relieved and can write this post.
Two years ago I managed to get a cold right after breaking my ankle. That was quite hard exerience as well. Body temperature was not that bad, but I had constant pain in my ankle and was not able to stand and walk. It's hard to be ill while being alone, because big effort is needed for even simple task. Luckily, this time I have my grandmother with me (though she is as ill as me), and friends who give some moral support and buy me medicine.

~2016-12-28--02-12-05--(+0300) — Nightdream

I had a nightdream where my computer was infected with something strange: soon after booting swap area became used completely and it was unusable. Apparently that was inspired by kdenlive.

~2016-12-16--11-41-32--(+0300) — Demoscene evening №2

I'm proposing to meet up again and watch demos. This sunday — Demoscene evening №2.

~2016-12-13--13-25-59--(+0300) — Nightdream

During the last night I had a nightdream full of anxiety that I have these days.

~2016-12-12--02-22-59--(+0300) — Jupyter Hell reminder

I cannot stay silent and want to share this once again: there are two days left to support Jupyter Hell on Kickstarter. The game of the rogue-like genre, made by Kornel, already well-known rogue-like developer — you need nothing else to know to support the game if you are a rogue-like RPG fan already. If you don't know, then go and read — you'll not regret about this, and play some of the rogue-like RPG games like Rogue, ADOM, DoomRL, Angband and many more. Chances are really high if you are a fan of such games as X-COM, Fallout and Diablo.
And, if you don't know already, that's my favourite genre of computer games. Already since I was 14 years old, that is a half of my life. And three years ago I have supported ADOM — my favourite game, which is a well-known rogue-like legend — during its epic crowdfunding campain. So now you've got a chance to support the prequel to another legend.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2020043306/jupiter-hell-a-modern-turn-based-sci-fi-roguelike

~2016-12-08--23-42-26--(+0300) — A bit of musical statistics

Here is a funny statistics about my music listening during last 11 months (not all was taken into account, of course, but most of my listens):
http://www.last.fm/user/Nasedil_Genio/listening-report/year

~2016-12-08--19-51-52--(+0300) — Moods

I had truly great mood yesterday! In fact, one of the best I can have, something that happens maybe once per year. I could try to anlyze that state, say that it is such mood that does not involve anxiety or meloncholy (and I have both most of the time). So it was great yesterday. And today I have a mood of being ill, because I have no motivation to do anything, I only can think about sleeping. Such a contrast.

~2016-12-06--18-29-07--(+0300) — More demoscene documentaries to see in Minsk

Hurra! Two more documentary films about demoscene are going to be screened, this time in the Museum of Cinema in Minsk. Please come if you like beaty, or if you are a programmer, musician, artist or just like computers and arts.
https://www.facebook.com/events/1281553751908007/

~2016-12-04--13-00--(+0300) — A new game from Kornel Kisielewicz

Oh my god, Kornel makes something even more epic this time! All lovers of roque-like games and DoomRL especially should go and support the project right now (I'm going to do that right away after writing the post):
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2020043306/jupiter-hell-a-modern-turn-based-sci-fi-roguelike

P.S. I'm getting my copy of ADOM Lite RPG soon — please come and play!

~2016-11-21--01-25-59--(+0300) — Afterparty melancholy

!!!!!Needs translation — Вот и закончился так давно ожидаемый мной показ документального фильма про демосцену и просмотр демок. Благодаря вдохновляющему подбадриванию и технической помощи друзей, всё достаточно быстро и легко организовалось. И даже больше, всё прошло почти что так, как я и ожидал: и количество людей, и реакцию, и проблемы с их решениями — всё было неплохо предсказано. И, к сожалению, то, что мне снова станет морально плохо, хотя я всё-таки надеялся, что в этот раз уже так не будет. Но нет, мне снова кажется, что почти все ребята, кто пришёл, меня недолюбливают и презирают, да и я сам их вижу в негативном свете. Это ужасное ощущение, преувеличенность которого я осознаю, но с которым не могу справиться. И я не отрегулировал интровертность своего общения, а стоило бы. И вот я снова думаю: а нужно ли это мне? Может не стоит всё-таки организовывать вечеринок на больше чем 5 человек и больше чем 2 часа? Даже в случае, если никто не сделает, если я не сделаю?

~2016-11-21--01-20-52--(+0300) — The end of the everyday haircuts

After 84 days of daily haircuts I have finally finished the project. It was not easy but I managed! And the results are in line with what I expected from the project. I will write more on the project page.

~2016-11-16--00-30-38--(+0300) — I'm organizing demo and film evening

After a long break I'm finally organizing a demoscene evening and showing of a documentary about the demoscene. It was not easy because I have never done such big film evenings and big parties in general. Though I don't think this one will be big. Still, I feel anxious about that. Come to the Demoscene evening №1.

~2016-11-06--00-54-46--(+0300) — To not give up

I lived many years with a cat. What I've learned from him is to never gave up.

~2016-11-05--05-30-27--(+0300) — The website and its publication

My site is already quite old — I created it around a year ago. And I feel it is not quite ready for publicating link to in in social networks. But when will it be ready? And will it be? I don't really know what to do. Why I don't want to write about it now? I think because it lacks information about my arts and my character — quite important parts — but, on the other side, I may need years to make that information good enough. And I have a list of other features I want to have here. And this list is big, it is huge. I know I need more than just a couple of years to implement them. I thought when I finish character and arts and write all pages in English version, I could put website link to every social network and post about my site with explanations. Seems great, and then I should get quite a lot of feedback right away. Now I think: maybe I should put only link, and write post some time later when I feel ready? The site is in development all the time anyway.

~2016-11-04--19-31-51--(+0300) — After the break

A month has passed since my last blog update. My life was as adventurous as before, though. I was ill a couple of times, visited Milan once again, and bought many socks, among other things. And I still do my everyday haircuts, for more than two months already. I wish to update the website regularly too, without such long breaks. I actually do that in my thoughts, but so seldom it reaches any medium...

~2016-10-02--02-28-43--(+0300) — Cleaning from garbage

I'm delighted that my love of cleaning had it's day today by cleaning parks and forests from garbage in good companies. There is a lot of garbage there, but now less than before.

~2016-09-15--01-16-51--(+0300) — The sweetness of illness

And again (probably) a virus. And again it relaxes. Bad physical feelings and sweet feelings of pleasure and carelessness, both at the same time. Like going to sleep again after waking up during a night.

~2016-09-12--04-03-03--(+0300) — Elections

Today I voted for the first time in my life in elections. I've decided that at least once I should do this, at least for new experience, even though elections in our country are usually falsificated. Not the best impressions from the voting point, pretty much everybody who administrated it looked very old and like soviet-style pro-government officials.

~2016-09-08--23-05-36--(+0300) — Depression and attempts at helping myself

After leaving the house in the evening I, on one side, felt good about upcoming freedom and rest, but, on the other side, felt suddenly very depressed. This feeling that I have bad mood and that I cannot help myself. It is interesting how medicine could affect mind? Because I've never tried anything like this. The hardest things I ever tried were several cups of coffee or several glasses of light alcohol. And neither of them affected my mood, not significantly for sure. So I just accepted my impotence and walked. But, before I reached an opening of exhibition, one unfamiliar girl smiled at me. That helmed to raise my mood for some time. Yes, smiles, they help a lot, even from unknown person. My frend reminded me about the smile, and I've decided to make an effort. I started to smile at girls walking towards me and greet them, to improve my mood. That helped. But of course, I was tired after a while. One more hour my mood was normal, but then it felt again to the same level it was before. So smiles helped me, but only temporarily.

~2016-09-06--12-01-33--(+0300) — Autumn

When has the autumn started for you? For me it was two days before yesterday, 3rd of September. I walked out and felt its smell. Today it is warm, but autumnly warm. I like to note days when a new season starts. Not in traditional calendar, but perception-wise. Every season has its own mood. And for me an autumn mood is the mood for thinkning about life and everything, and melancholy. And I am a melancholic person and all-time thinker. I guess it is the reason why I started to love autumn so much in these latter times.

~2016-09-05--14-05-30--(+0300) — Mass running

For the first time I participated in mass running. It was yesterday, and I ran 5 kilometers, and I did it in 27 minutes. There were almost 20 thousands people running overall and we did it on central avenues of Minsk.

~2016-08-27--16-26-42--(+0300) — Facebook and Vkontakte

During last two weeks I posted more than usual about myself in facebook. Something I was going to do anyway, since my spring inpiration from a couple of frieds. Before I was posting just once in a month or so. Also, since I'm building this site and it is my primary place for blogging, I want to repost myself onto these social networks. I do it already sometimes. But here is a thing I have noticed. It is easier to write on my website, even thoug it is as opened as facebook and vkontakte. Sometimes I just can post here, but cannot post there. I think the reason is in context of my website, which is perfectly suitable for anything I feel I want to write — of course, because I have build the website from scratch based on my feelings. Other thing is the context of facebook or vkontakte. They are already established over years into something that cannot be changed in one day. A good example is these two weeks. I was posting nothing but trivial things, including my bad mood statuses — and bad mood is something that may happen to me 5 times per day sometimes, very usual thing I can cope with pretty well — and some of my readers felt I suddenly got really bad problems that I didn't have before. This is understandable: I didn't write about my mood often and systematically. And I didn't write much overall. So to shelter my readers from sudden strange posts I need to prepare context somehow, by slowly changing my posting habits or by writing explicitly explanations of my posting system. On that website everything is simpler, everything is brand new, the history of posts is clearly visible and the posting context is explained explicitly and pretty thoroughly. I have decided to keep posting only here from now on, until I publish my website on social networks. Then I will continue to repost there and link to this website in case of questions.

~2016-08-25--13-03-14--(+0300) — Terrible mood

Here it is, the situation when my mood is bad and I cannot do anything with it. I don't want to do anything, and I don't want to communicate (or want but afraid, because I feel high chance of being trapped in conflict). Also, bad health, recent personal conflict and things to do make the mood even heavier. In the end it is very hard to do any thing. I still cannot imagine how people with strong depression feel (the ones who cannot do anything), but I can assume their feeling is something like my feeling multiplied several times. I can work, eat, sleep and talk, but all these tasks are going very hard for me, I feel very-very lazy. That reminds me lazy-tired feelings during fasting — when it's so lazy that I didn't take my hat off my head. The permanent relative tiredness, being there during lying and during activities.

~2016-08-03--22-07-02--(+0300) — Bad mood

This summer is hard: I have mental breakdowns often, hard mood, blowing procrastination. I don't know how much more this will last, but as for now I'm tired mentally. And my mood, it's not that bad, but more indifferent than bad. I don't care about stuff, I'm lazy and tired. A peak of introvercy. I have in general a lot of mood swings, and these months I had a lot of inspiration, which together with my tendency in deep involvement made me hyper-overburdened. And now I drop so many things, and don't feel much desire to communicate. This is ok, I just need to have a rest.

~2016-08-03--21-04-24--(+0300) — Windows and Linux

I had to install Windows on my computer (for some occasional work-related use), and was very surprised. After all, even as a Linux user, I expected Windows to provide a greater device support, HiDPI support and others, especially in the latest Windows 10, made by super rich Microsoft. However, no, it has same type of troubles, even more troubles and more severe. And the funniest thing is that a demo that was working under Wine in Linux, was not working in Windows (even in compatibility mode). Such a surprice. Here it is.

~2016-07-27--12-31-06--(+0300) — Nightdreams and travelling

It seems that I miss travelling very much, because I had a nightdream that was highly saturated with travelling events. Deciding a route, bying and cancelling tickets for plane, bus and train, missing bus... And of course hanging out with friends at night near stations. I managed to believe in all that like in reality.

~2016-07-16--23-47-32--(+0300) — A crisis

I want to make a lot, but there is little time. I want to make tasks and study, but I am lazy instead. I want to establish new habits, but tend to stick to old habits instead. Nothing new, but again I'm in a situation when I demand from myself too much more that I can supply. A crisis. And I need to free myself somehow from most of the load.

~2016-07-13--13-46-55--(+0300) — Barefoot running

Today I was running barefoot, for the first time in two years. Last time was in Stavanger, on seachore, not comfortable for barefoot running at all, due to mostly thorny plants everywhere. Here, in Minsk, it is quite comfortable, even though pretty durty, there are plenty of green or earthy areas.

~2016-07-12--11-34-07--(+0300) — Waves of rain

Sometimes it is great to catch summer rain, several times, and hide several times, look at skies and clouds, be happy about fresh breeze, and go right towards adventures.

P.S. What can be greater than a toilet where music is turned on together with light?

~2016-07-07--17-46-33--(+0300) — Without hot water

Finally is my turn to live two weeks without hot water. And that means you have a greate chance to invite me to your home in Minsk! I can stay overnight too, bringing more party time to you. I have everything I need with me.

~2016-07-05--17-43-57--(+0300) — Lost weeks

I'ts a long time since I've udpated the site. I had a long (and unfinished) story of repairing my laptops, and some other issues. I'm totally into laziness during several weeks already, as well as very restless. Nevertheless my main computer is with me again and I'll try to make updates again.

~2016-06-23--15-33-04--(+0300) — Birthday

It happened somehow that I'm busy first half of the day today and haven't prepared any party. But it is my Birthday, my most favourite holiday. So I've decided to go for a walk and invite anybody to join, just call me.

~2016-06-20--14-01-10--(+0300) — Musical travels

I think lately about going in musical travels. I mean to travel with purpose of making music. It feels very romantic, but I still feel that I need more practice and studying at home to start such a trip. Making music seriously is something that I postpone most of my life. I want to believe that really soon I'll manage to make it real, to make music with as much passion as I had when I was 19 and did computer programming. Well, even more passionately. Even though I'm not ready yet, I feel I'm much closer with my current skills and knowledge.

~2016-06-02--16-34-12--(+0300) — Duolingo and foreign languages

Two weeks ago I've tried Duolingo for the first time. It is a program for learning foreign languages. At the time my electronic book has become broken, so I started a search to find something to do in transport, using my smartphone. And yes, Duolingo was a lucky finding! I liked it so much that I wanted to recommend to everybody from the first day! But I was too lazy to write a post, and now it's already two weeks since the day I've started using it. And I still recommend very much! It is not enough to learn a language fully from scratch, but it is totally perfect to improve and to get to know a language. Use it! It is free. And add me to friends: https://www.duolingo.com/nasedil_genio.

~2016-05-15--13-16-11--(+0300) — Sunday workouts

As usually, I go today to practice some juggling and pull-ups, near Marat Kasey monument in Minsk, around 15-00. Come together with me.

~2016-05-15--09-31-02--(+0300) — Mood and loneliness

Sometimes it happens coincidentally that my bad mood phase come at a time when other people are not inspired to communicate with me (they don't answer my letters, don't pick up their phones). When this happens, it feels like the whole world turned its face from me.

~2016-05-15--09-31-02--(+0300) — Dream colored the day

I had a nightdream that drawed my yesterday experiences and feelings in more saturated and brutal form. The setting was in nature instead of the city.

~2016-05-10--12-19-15--(+0300) — Touch of the environment

During the last several weeks I have a very special feelings. After almost five years away from cultural environment I was in before, between 20 and 23 years old, I'm back in almost the same environment, which has changed just a bit, while I have changed more. Something became obsolete and unimportant for me, but a lot of things are still making me feel so happy and I'm glad I'm back again in this environment. At the same time I feel that now I have way more opportunities than five years ago. I'm thinking now of the best way to live, while having fresh feelings of the past and present.

~2016-05-09--23-16-22--(+0300) — New record

After the previous long-standing record of 4 pull-ups I have managed today to do 7 pull-ups. Wow, hard to believe this. I guess my workouts every day and a trip to countryside made the job.

~2016-04-30--10-00-16--(+0300) — About moving to Minsk

I'm already more than 6 weeks in Minsk. Still glad that I have moved here.

~2016-04-27--16-04-01--(+0300) — Daydream and architecture of Minsk

During my daysleep I had a dream in which I saw non-usual buildings in Minsk. They were quite reasistic. In Stavanger, where I lived just a couple of months before, I saw unusual buildings everywhere. I thought this is a good time to start posting drawings in my blog (I bought a graphical tablet for this almost two years ago). But during graphical design software configuration I forgot most of the houses I've seen in my dream. So I drew just one — a big house with one main part and two towers with support legs.

~2016-04-26--11-40-34--(+0300) — Ubuntu

Almost did myself a disaster yesterday. Started upgrading Ubuntu to the newest release, without making snapshots before that. And upgrade was stuck. Luckily managed to fix it without pains in the ass.

~2016-04-25--18-28-43--(+0300) — Glad about the website

Thanks to illness I worked so much on the website, and it looks pretty good already. I am so motivated to continue working on it now. From the feedback I've got this week I can already see that to have one's own website is even more useful that I thought before. Cool.

~2016-04-25--04-17-38--(+0300) — Insomnia

During this illness I cannot sleep normally again. Yesterday and today I was sleeping from 18 till 22, and then I cannot sleep until very late night. Now I gave up, after three hours of just lying in bed, and take computer. If I weren't ill I would go for a night walk.

~2016-04-23--17-24-00--(+0300) — Too early to get up

I got up from my bed one hour ago and realized that I am still too ill. All my plans and hopes are broken. I don't feel l'm ready to go outside, to cinema, to study intensively new computer technologies. I don't want to do anything, including lying on the bed.

~2016-04-23--11-24-13 — The site really motivates me

As I expected, and even more than I expected, this site motivates me very much to work on projects which I postponed before. Now when I work on a project or it is finished I can publish it on a dedicated webpage. Even if nobody reads, there is a difference between posting in private notes and posting on the website.

~2016-04-22 — Book of notes and suggestions

Today I was talking to my friend and an interesting idea came out: to make a book of notes and suggestions for my friends. It came as analogue of a book we have to have as individual entrepreneur, where customers can write their suggestions. So why not make a social art-project from this? I'll do it right now. You are welcome to write your suggestions. As the official book, my book will also be in hardcore paper version. Project page is Book of notes and suggestions.

~2016-04-20 — Weeks before and after

Finally I'm ill; now I can dedicate more time to the website. Even though I am already five weeks in Minsk, I have done a few things. Most of the time I spent walking and talking, especially those ten days during the Cinema Perpetuum Mobile festival (I partied so hard, almost all the time, because it was so great). Now the festival is over, important things are done, and I'm tired from partiyng. I don't have particular plans for the next several weeks; I think I'll spend more time creating and making things.

~2015-12-26--11-16 — About my personal website

Hi there on my blog! This entry is about my personal website. This autumn I've managed to make it real, check it out here: http://eugene.zuelum.org. I'm so glad, and I'm full of ideas! And, by the way, your ideas are more than important for me! Please do write to me and say what you think I should implement and add to my website. Because the main idea of the persolan website is to communicate with people, to share what I have with others. I plan to decrease my activity in other social networks and make my website the main channel of communication. And advise you so too. Good luck with your personal website development! Let me know when you have one (or have already).

Eugene